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C7C Model for Couples Counselling
Conceptualise: This is an essential initial phase to couples counselling. It allows the therapist to get a sense of the couple, collect information, gain an understanding of each of the individual’s personal history, their experiences and relational patterns prior to their relationship. This helps build an understanding of how their perspectives were developed, communication styles were formed and how each partner responds to conflict. These insights help the therapist to form a formulation of how these cumulative factors interact within the relationship, contribute to the couple dynamics, as well as potential misalignments. Each partner is invited to share their perspective and understanding on the challenge(s) and issue(s) experienced within the relationship. Careful clarification on where both partners share an understanding on the concerns or not will help inform whether couples counselling is the most appropriate way forward and highlight considerations for next steps.
Contract: This step identifies and prioritises the wishes and desires of each partner to ensure they both feel comfortable to proceed. Some important points to establish include; identifying that there is a need for couples counselling; that, both partners accept and agree the issue(s) to be shared; that both partners wish to work on the issue(s) and are prepared to commit to doing so; that they are prepared to do the work now as timing can impact the quality of engagement; and finally that both partners wish to proceed with the therapist chosen. The final point emphasises the importance of the therapeutic alliance between partners and therapist. Establishing a therapeutic focus for the therapy involves agreeing objectives, prioritising goals and understanding the purpose for therapy as well as what to expect. This step maps out the direction of travel for the therapy.
Confront: This phase is about addressing the present-day issue(s) and relational dynamic head on. It involves identifying and naming the specific behaviours and patterns causing difficulty and distress which may potentially be affecting the relationship. Each partner is invited to share their perspectives and comment in an honest, direct conversation – setting the stage for meaningful change. Through facilitation-led exchanges, both partners are supported to confronting dissatisfactions in the relationship. Many couples can avoid addressing certain topics because they may be concerned about how the other may respond and have a fear of upsetting the other, or experience difficulty finding the words. Over time this can lead to resentment and emotional disconnect within the relationship. “Confront” allies with the creation of a safe, structured therapeutic environment to address these issues directly in a respectful manner promoting transparency and openness.
Conscious: This phase involves the facilitation of new awareness and understanding in the relationship as partners are guided to uncover the deeper patterns shaping their relationship. With curiosity, this deeper exploration provides invaluable insights into how past experiences and ingrained habits influence relational patterns e.g. how partners respond when there is conflict,; why they may be drawn to certain dynamics;, why they sometimes stay stuck in self-defeating or harmful patterns. In this phase, couples are supported in exploring their internal world – feelings, fears and desires. Having an understanding of each partner’s personal history, attachment patterns and defence mechanisms, the couple and therapist can begin to develop new insights in how past influences effect the present, highlighting any recuring misalignments or disconnects. This new insight empowers couples to understand each other more deeply, turning fear and insecurities into opportunities for deeper connection, emotional vulnerability and mutual alignment.
Connect: This step focusses on deepening emotional bonds between partners through emphasis on emotional attunement and empathy. As each partner begins to share vulnerability and express relational needs, communication, and active listening skills will be enhanced through the use of experiential exercises. As each partner feels seen, heard, respected, valued, and understood – feelings of isolation reduce, trust builds and relational ruptures can begin to heal. In a safe and guided environment, each partner will be supported to express their thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires. They will also begin to see the other partner in a more considerate and compassionate way. This phase helps restore and bridge emotional gaps, and reduce defensive behaviours – restoring relational harmony and creating a foundation for meaningful collaboration with respect for difference.
Co-Create: This step focusses on nurturing the strengths of the relationship to set new foundations for a more authentic bond characterised by clarity in expectations of each other, compassion towards each other and creating a more equitable partnership. Partners are supported to the building of trust and safety within their relationship through taking the steps to demonstrate accountability and transparency. Constructing new habits of appreciation or acts of kindness to promote feelings of love and validation support the growth of mutual respect and intimacy. This strengthens emotional connection as each partner feels as though their needs are being met.
Consolidate: This step requires a commitment to consistency and continuing beyond therapy reviewing the potential barriers to achieving this. Establishing a clear understanding of the expectations of each other cultivates a stronger sense of togetherness and resilience whereby both partners will feel more secure and valued in the relationship. In this phase, both partners actively strive for balance between personal individuality and supporting each other. This will involve exploring new ways to spend time together, rekindle shared interests to enhance shared empathic resonance, respecting each other’s different interests and priorities and onwards to a thriving relationship.
